Alden Boon

Signs You Have Let Yourself Go and Given up on This Thing Called Life


Everybody grows old, but not everyone lets himself or herself go. You may have given up on this thing called life if any of these signs speaks to you.

  1. You used to spend hours creating ringtones from the trendiest songs, extracting the exact verses that were the window to your soul’s deepest recesses: “so fly like a G6”. Now, you just use the default, grating ringtones that come with the smartphone, so that when someone else’s phone rings, you think yours is.
  2. You used to recolour your hair immediately when the dark roots started showing; now you wait four months and proclaim it a style, that they are deliberate hair highlights, that you are not defined by your frizzy hair.
  3. You used to post multiple times on social media platforms; now you go days, weeks, without even logging in. Say what you will about social media — they compel us to put our best foot forward, put the FOMO on us so we go live our lives. You don’t even try to impress others anymore.
  4. Tight-fitting pants that accentuated your curves used to dominate your wardrobe; now you go for dinner at a restaurant wearing pants that come with drawstrings.
  5. You work out for the first time in a really long while, and your long-atrophied muscles ache not immediately the day after but three days after. And you take two months to recover from your workout.
  6. You have more than three pairs of “that ought to show them” sexy jeans that you cannot fit into.
  7. When it comes to taking photos, you become a cinematographer, instructing your friends on how to angle the shots (high angle, slight right tilt) so that you can still sort of look flattering and not flat or fat. Either that or you relegate to the back, hoping your friend’s camera takes blurry snapshots or your bulging tummy can hide in plain sight.
  8. It ruffles your feathers whenever someone posts a motivational quote on Facebook, like “get a room with yourself already!”.
  9. You no longer use emoticons to express your emotions but to end conversations.


Alden Boon
Alden Boon is a Quarter-finalist in PAGE International Screenwriting Awards. When he's not busy writing, he pretends he is Gandalf.

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