Alden Boon

How to Deal with Criticism. Literally.


Criticism comes from all fronts; it manifests in many forms. “That is a huge pimple!” “Your work is horrible!” “You haven’t been keeping to your diet, huh?” Many advice gurus say to not make it personal, but when your body part is the crux of the matter it’s hard not make it personal.

So how do you deal with criticism? Here are five tips:

Start quoting the relevant verses in the bible (or your religious book)

Matthew 7:1-5: “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”Isaiah 45:9 “Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker– An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?’ Or the thing you are making say, ‘He has no hands’?

Parrot the last sentence and turn it into an interrogation

“OH, so my pimple is big? Could you tell me, in all your wisdom, the circumference of it?”

It’s important to remain levelheaded when criticised

But your body will betray you: your heartbeat accelerates and your breathing gets laboured and your cheeks are suffused with red. To maintain composure, start breathing in staccato beats: just imagine you’re a pregnant woman whose water just broke and you’re going into labour. Contractions are one minute apart.

Stand tall, they say, when you face adversity

So tip toe to add a few centimetres to your height. Remain in that position for the rest of your day.

The mark of a successful man is how he bounces back after a setback

So, invest in a trampoline and start bouncing away.


Alden Boon
Alden Boon is a Quarter-finalist in PAGE International Screenwriting Awards. When he's not busy writing, he pretends he is Gandalf.

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