Joseph Isaac Schooling. What a triumphant feat that marks a watershed moment in Singapore’s sports annals. His indelible accomplishment comes hot on the heels of my personal milestones of getting out of bed on a Saturday and a night of clocking two kilometres walking on foot — mostly in circles — in two hours in a bid to catch Snorlax (and I did). Leave it to a prodigious, fresh-faced Olympian to make you feel insignificant and inadequate and a waste of space on this good earth.
So I got to thinking: Is it too late for me to be an Olympian? Yes, yes it is. So as I place my hopes on my future offspring, here is a guide for you if you wish to become an Olympian.