Alden Boon

Gay Singer Adam Lambert Should NOT Be Allowed to Play in Singapore

29/11/2015

Pop star Adam Lambert has found himself embroiled in a controversy. The American Idol alum was invited to headline a New Year’s eve concert in Singapore. The concert will count down and usher in (seeing how obtuse opinions have been, we believe it’s) the year 1938. And yes, we’re of the same obtuse opinion the flamboyant musician should NOT be playing in Singapore.

The name Adam

The singer shares the same first name as the first man, Adam. That automatically makes him the most powerful and influential man in the world. We all grew up with the story of Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. What, are we supposed to rewrite stories now? We’re not Disney: we don’t have the deftness it took to rewrite Ariel’s death into a happily-ever-after finale!

He is too gay.

Sin-gapore is already known as the Land of Sin. We’re on God’s radar. We don’t need anyone promoting promiscuity and homosexuality and add to our sin count. Here is Adam Lambert, out and about in an Apple store. Apple, helmed by gay CEO Tim Cook, is of course known for spreading the gay agenda — smartphones; apps; dating apps; gay dating apps; Grindr; AIDS. Not to mention the apple is widely speculated to be the fruit that Eve took a bite of.  Sin, sin, sin, sin, sin.

Just one look at Adam’s Adam’s Apple and you’re gay. Singapore has an ageing population. We can’t have that. And did we mention we’re already on God’s radar?

adam-lambert-iphone-6-1  Photo Credit: Adam Lambert TV 

He kissed a boy and he liked it

One of the grouses petitioners have is that Adam Lambert locked lips with a male guitarist during his American Music Awards performance in 2009. If you watch the latter video, you would see that he did not do so during rehearsals. We have reasons to believe he’d repeat that antic this December — when you’re all caught up in the exhilaration, there’s no knowing what you’d do. Are we Singaporeans prepared for what may come? A man kissing another man on live TV: the repercussions will be far worse than the ISIS crisis!

That kiss also effected a tidal wave. It is the reason for the rise in the number of gay babies. Reports have shown that more and more penguins and tigers and eagles have turned gay. School children are now experimenting in science labs when the teachers are not looking their way. The U.S. now recognises same-sex marriages — in turn people like Kim Davis are being exalted. We have to protect the sanctity of marriage: it should be between a man and a woman, or in India a teenage girl and a teenage boy.

He stood in for the late Freddie Mercury on tour

Adam had just wrapped up a world tour where he joined the band mates of the late rock ‘n’ roll singer and belted out on stage classics such as Bohemian Rhapsody; Under Pressure; and We Are The Champions. These songs have united rock-music fans for decades, and yes, the fans are all gay. Freddie was gay and by association so are his fans who cling on to every lyric.

Oh the name of this band? Queen. Queen in the gay world is short for drag queens, a term for men who dress up as women. Do we really want a Singapore that’s teeming with young boys in makeup, dangerously-high heels; and who over-enunciate every word so it becomes  “Yaassssss” or “Weerrrrk” or “Heeaaappppp”?

Do we men really want to have to tuck our penises in between our thighs and walk with a gait of a prized pony?

Yep, that is why Adam Lambert should not be playing in Singapore. On that note, we should all boycott Apple products.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alden Boon
Alden Boon is a Quarter-finalist in PAGE International Screenwriting Awards. When he's not busy writing, he pretends he is Gandalf.

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